Our partners received news last week that Nettles might provide the cure for Hay fever. The news report stated that one man in Cambridge claims that the Nettle could hold the key to curing Hay fever. Or at least keeping it at bay. Goran Pavlovic had suffered from Hay fever all his life. But he claims that he’s been rubbing himself with nettles for the past three years and that during that time hasn’t had any Hay fever – not even a sniff! Following the spread of this story, Nettl were asked to comment and in turn we give our own non-medical opinion on his claims. After carrying out various random tests where we encamped our Nettl Geeks in Nettle bushes before exposing them to a high dose of pollen, we believe it does seem rather extreme. Therefore, we would not recommend it. But a nice cup of Nettle tea might be a welcome refreshment instead? (Or probably best you speak to your pharmacist). So, whether Nettles can help cure Hay fever or not, we’re not too sure. But we do know that grasping quality time with Express Print, your local Nettl studio, it is a sure fire way to remedy many of some other common business ailments…
VIRAL INACTIVITY DISORDER
Viral Inactivity Disorder (or VID) is quite common complaint that manifests itself in the lack of any outbound marketing activity. Feeling lethargic, affected businesses often view the symptoms as simply being busy when in fact more urgent attention is needed to energise and reboot the system. VID can have serious long term financial ramifications, leading to ‘Stagnantitis’ if not dealt with swiftly.
Tiredness, cramps, procrastination.
Call Express Print now for a tailored marketing treatment plan.
Most businesses are most susceptible to Stagnantitis (or in simple layman’s terms, more commonly known as Quiet Phone Disease) which follows a relatively busy period. This ‘illness’ frequently occurs in middle-aged businesses that perhaps don’t get out as much as they used to. Symptoms to look out for are high temperatures, cold sweats and panic attacks. A good diet and plenty of regular outreach activity is known to keep these symptoms at bay.
Lack of sleep, fever, panic attacks.
Regular daily activity, even when busy.
ACUTE INACTION INFLUENZA
This is a highly contagious disease that appears to target visitors to the business website. Although the website may continue to attract visitors, any engagement is at very dangerously low levels. Making a purchase or simply opting in to mailings is almost always non-existent. Prompt and urgent medical intervention can provide instant relief. Further diagnostic tests can also help to boost well-being.
Bloating, irritability, confusion.
Prescribed following initial consultation with Express Print, your local Nettl GP.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE ONLINE ANONYMITY
Obsessive Compulsive Online Anonymity has only been recognised as a serious condition in the last ten years and can affect the lives of many SME businesses. Symptons, including feeling lonely and invisible, can have a major effect on any business’s online visibility. In fact a large percentage of businesses live with this illness, not getting the enquiries they need, and unaware that help is available.
Stress, anxiety, headaches.
Request a Nettl SEO Audit from your Express Print GP.
CHRONIC EXPO INEFFECTIA
Again, this is an extremely common but highly preventable virus that affects businesses at shows, exhibitions and events across the country. Directly impacting the ability to stand out from the crowd, the symptoms of this mediocre condition can be extremely off putting to passers-by. Although on the surface, symptoms are mild, underlying long-term effects significantly impair the businesses capacity for growth.
Drowsiness, long-face, inertia.